Are you swinging?

Suparna Saha was every bit a blushing bride-to-be. Days away from her big day - Suparna and her fianc�� Sayok Das - a Singapore-based marine engineer, decided to spend an idyllic date ���just talking���.
���The conversation veered towards ex lovers when suddenly Sayok said, ���I have a confession.��� Having been engaged for over a year, I knew about all his ex���s as he did about mine, so I was unperturbed.But his revelation ripped me apart,��� confesses a teary-eyed Suparna, adding, ���He said that during his college and early professional life, he���d been in physical relationships with men. I was shell-shocked. I asked if he was gay, to which he replied, ���No, at this point I���m totally into you, but yes, I���ve desired men in my past. I guess I���m bisexual.���
Even as Suparna grapples with the complexities of her fianc�����s sexual leanings, we can���t help wondering, if bisexuality is the latest joyride in the carnal carnival. Once considered the pleasure tool of the cocooned cocktail class or sexually adventurous Hollywood A-listers like Angelina Jolie and Ricky Martin - bisexuality is no longer an intimate personal preserve dwelling in the shadows, beyond our grasp. Today, it could be your best friend, your husband, or even your favourite youth icon.
Twenty-six-year-old copy-writer Maya Patil, who discovered she was ���bi��� purely by ���accident���, claims, ���On a business trip to Pune, I was sharing a room with a married female colleague. We got talking and soon we found ourselves sexually drawn towards each other. We were scared that society may label us as ���frustrated lesbians,��� but to my surprise, once we started talking to our friends we found a lot of them had swung both ways. My lover has now come clean to her husband who understands her sexual preferences. She doesn���t love him any less... and I���m not jealous,��� says Maya.
Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty explains why bisexuality is now ���coming out���? ���Bisexuality, a natural human character, is latent in every human being. It���s just that some people prefer to keep their desires dormant, while others make a conscious choice to pursue their sexual identity more vociferously.���
Even Sigmund Freud considered bisexuality a universal ���disposition���, with every individual a mix of both male and female. In India, sexual activity with both sexes is detailed in ancient texts like Kamasutra, besides finding expression in art and sculpture such as Rajasthani paintings and Khajuraho sculptures. Mythological references abound. The Hindu god Ayyappa was apparently the son of Vishnu and Shiva, the former in drag and the latter pursuing her ���as a lordly elephant would a she-elephant���.
H A Hariharan, director of Indian Community Welfare Organisation in Chennai says, ���In Tamil Nadu, it���s common practice for masculine gay men to indulge in sex with feminine looking men - the practice being referred to as ���panthi���. But, in an age of sexual experimentation, when bedroom boredom and infidelity are urban realities, is bisexuality merely a fa��ade for mid-life philandering or youthful frivolity? Vinay Chandran, executive director, Swabhava Trust, an NGO working with bisexual issues, replies, ���Anyone has the potential to fall in love with or have sex with either a man or a woman. A bisexual identity is real. But, over the years, we���ve seen a change in how bisexuality is perceived.���
Alternate sexuality no longer breathes on the fringes of unorthodox films such as Fire or in gossip columns speculating on the clandestine sexual escapades of matinee idols. Maya adds, ���Today a youth icon like Megan Fox openly declares, ���I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. People are born bisexual and they make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society.��� Bollywood hunk Akshay Kumar finds praises from a gay a ���compliment to his macho image.������ Even Abhay Deol reportedly said on being a gay icon, ���As long as people find me attractive, it doesn���t matter which sex they belong to.���
Yet, in a largely homophobic society, bisexuality is often viewed as the most potent threat to monogamy and established social harmony. Activist Anjali Gopalan says of the stereotyping, ���Even after decriminalising Section 377, bisexuals are discriminated against as irresponsible.��� Delhi-based activist Betu of Sangini, which counsels bisexuals, says, ���The emotional risks loom higher with bisexuals who���re involved in multiple relationships.���
But the cross-over nature of bisexuality also brings in its wake a high risk of HIV AIDS.
Researchers feel that chances of getting infected are six times higher in men due to high level of promiscuity. However, Swabhava���s Chandran asserts, ���The risk is in having unprotected sex, not in being bisexual.��� Maya has the final word, ���Anything that���s not ���normal��� is viewed with suspicion. But bisexuality isn���t just a fashionable sexual cocktail. It���s the latest sexual subculture.��� Only one that isn���t bordered by strict gender rules.
(Names have been changed to protect identity)